Nannikapoor’s Blog

As seen by Threesh Kapoor

A matter of faith of in Patna. A muslim woman carries her son, attired as Krishna, for a school function.

It happens only in India…Happy Janmashtmi.

(Photo by TOI)

Instructions:

i) Students found copying will be shot on the spot.

ii)Any student coming late after 10 minutes after the exam starts will be forced to join Al Qayda group.

iii)AK-47′s and Grenades are not allowed in the exam hall. Students may keep their daggers, Revolvers and pack of anthrax bombs only for self defense.

Math Exam    Time 3 hours     Full Marks 100

All questions are compulsory.

1. Abdul was sent to jail for murder .He has 7 wives in his house. Abdul distributed money to his wives in such a proportion that the youngest and most recent wife receives maximum and oldest wife gets minimum, and each wife gets double of her former competitor. Abdul has 1700 Rupaye left in his house. Abdul’s oldest wife needs atleast 25 rupaye per month. Find out the time when Abdul will have to break Jail to come out and earn money so that his wives do not starve.

2. Karim is a Drug seller. Prices per gram of Marijuana, hasis, haroine and LHD s are 50, 60,70,80 Rupaye respectively. Karim offers a discount of Rupaye 20 for his buyers who buys more than 50 grams of drug. If Rahim , a buyer gets Rupaye 37 discount , find out the grams of LHD he bought.

3. Imran tampers the ball thrice per over. He deforms the ball .02% of its original shape each time . Find the percentage deformation the ball due to tampering in a one day series against India in which Imran bowled 9.3 overs.

4. Rauf has a Company named Al Allah Kidnapping & Murder Private Limited. He has to threat 10 people per day over Telephone. 40% of the people he threats are cinema stars in Mumbai, 30% are Businessman in Delhi, 20% are Cricket Players in Madras and 10% are shopkeepres in Calcutta . If ISD charges are rupaye 15, 25, 40, 50 per minute from Rauf’s city Islamabad to Bombay, Delhi,Calcutta and Madras respectively and he gets a Telephone bill of 10,230 Rupaya in a month Find out The No of Cinema stars in Mumbai ,threatened in that particular month.

5. A terrorist group has to provide one Ak 47.one AK 49,one Rocket Launcher, 50 Grenades and one pack of RDX to its Ron roots for training.One AK 47 costs 100$; One Ak 49 costs 150 $,A Bazuka rocket Launcher costs 250 $ , grenade is 3 $ each, a pack of Rdx Bomb attached with remote Control is 500 $. The terrorist group admits 2000 new people every year out of which 30 % are court-martialed. Find the amt of Foreign Money Pakistan Govt has to provide each year to run such a group.

6. If stabilty of democratic Govt. in pakistan is given by the following equation X exp3 +X exp2 -16 = i, where the notations have their usual meaning; Find out x.

7. Probaliblity of a Pakistani prime minister to be shot is 78 %. Probabilty of a Military general to be shot is 80% . Find the joint probability of a Prime minister to be shot who is also a Military general.

8.  Find out geometrically the area of Paktunistaan using PI Theorem with Osama BIn Ladens Correction (That is taking the value of PI = 786 instead of 3.14….), if Paktunistaan is taken as a heptagon.

9.  A ‘GHAURI’ missile tries to fly from Drass to Kargil which is not too far from Drass (say 100 miles) and is exactly to the East of Drass . The wind is blowing from the South and the speed of the wind is exactly equal to the speed of the airplane. (The speed of the airplane is measured with respect to the air!) The pilot decides to steer straight to Kargil all the time during the flight. Will the airplane ever reach Kargil ? What if the speed of the wind is k times the speed of the airplane, where k is a positive number (can be greater or less than 1)? Try to sketch the trajectory of the airplane (with respect to the ground, of course) in each of the three cases: k=1, k1 and k<1.

10.  Briefly discuss the Unsolved problem of “Bisection of a Triangle” with a Compass and an unmarked ruler if the triangle is named as KASHMIR.

Courtesy my Yahoo group

Shared by a friend of mine, this represents the fate of Indian economy in2050. Need we say more on the state of multi national growth in rural India which will continue to suffer under brand names-with empty promises.

Tiger Woods’ estranged wife Elin is holding “round the clock” discussions with lawyers regarding her divorce, which could cost Woods anywhere between $500 million to $600 million. According to a source, Elin is mostly concerned about protecting her two kids’ financial interests.

A book that Elin read about how the children of a wealthy man from his first marriage did not get their share of inheritance, while their father’s second wife ended up with the lion’s share of the money, has her especially worried. Woods’ wife is also said to be serious about buying a home in Arizona since the home she currently shares with Tiger in Windemere, Florida has become “a place that has way too many unhappy memories for her”.

I have a passion for golf and see Tiger as the present day avatar of golfing gods on field – thats the only Woods I know and want to know. He is a genius who lost his way in the words of Osho and could not transcend Sex. Well the poor guy is a mortal and while being a Tiger on the course wanted to be one off it too.

Elin, get your divorce and the millions but let him play golf without wrecking him – you owe this to the golfing world and fans like me.

There are various detractors of the armed forces in the country eager to point out the tiniest of malaise and blow it out of proportions. The Bofors scandal was one such event which maligned the image of the armed forces, while all the culprits were politicians, bureaucrats and business houses. The armed forces are still reeling from the backlash where  ”Clean and transparent” ministers wouldn’t let the army’s modernisation plan go through for want of “clean” procedures. The tainted are having a field day while the armed forces are being denied of basic wherewithal to combat internal and external aggression.

Then you have a country where IPL has hogged the limelight over the past few days. The amounts of monies involved are staggering and can feed, clothe and educate millions of poor in the country. Harshad Mehta suddenly appears like a saint compared to the likes of BCCI and IPL stalwarts who consider it below their dignity to trade in anything less than Rs 70 Crores – that too as sweat equity. But that’s not even the tip of the iceberg. There are scandals and improprieties worth thousands of crores waiting to be unearthed. Each day the level of complexities only gets murkier.

Forgotten amongst all this are the accountability procedures of the Armed Forces where four generals are facing disciplinary action for “signing” a No Objection Certificate of a civil land over looking a military cantonment. The ignominy which the armed forces have suffered over the issue and the beating which its image has taken is debilitating to say the least. An organisation, where  an impropriety is judged from such strong standards of code of conduct, has been subjected to collective humiliation of its psyche in a trial by media.

In the same country tainted figures and history sheeter s are still “leaders” of all hues. From fodder scam to rotting wheat to rampant corruption in all departments of  governance there are voices emanating over skinning the military over “judgmental errors”.

This witch hunt in the country of Harshad Mehta and Lalit Modi demoralises the armed forces beyond comprehension.

After all you get your armed forces from the same society where corruption is the only tool that apparently works. Despite that if there is an organisation in the country which can hold its head high and punish the guilty promptly – it is the military which has sworn to live and die for the country.

For the rest it is ” Chalta hai”!